Decisions

You can see the tears fill Phil’s eyes and it is tearing your heart into tiny shreds. You turn away to ease the pain but discover that Bruno is standing directly behind you. He heard EVERY word and is staring at you in awe. You suddenly feel trapped. You can’t breathe. You begin hyperventilating. Your heart is beating like a humming birds wings. You feel light headed. Familiar hands are on your back, they belong to Phil. “Nikki?”, he asks with concern. Bruno steps closer to you. You’re breathing so fast, you are seeing double. You shake your head in hopes that your vision clears. It doesn’t. “Nikki?”, Bruno asks concerned, placing a hand on each of your shoulders. You feel faint. ‘Oh my God! I’m having a panic attack!’, you think to yourself. Bruno and Phil look at each other and nod. Phil pulls you down on the curb as he says, “Come on. Sit down Baby Girl”. You do as you are told. Bruno squats down in front of you and places his right hand on the center of your chest. “Breathe with me Nikki. In (inhales slowly). Out (exhales slowly)”. You try but you can’t. Phil is squatting behind you. Rubbing your back, he repeats what Bruno just said. “Come on Baby Girl. In (inhales slowly). Out (exhales slowly)”. The direct pressure on your back and chest from Phil and Bruno is helping to slow your breathing. After a few minutes the double vision is gone. You close your eyes and focus on your breathing (instead of Bruno’s face). You don’t feel faint anymore.Your heart rate is returning to baseline. After about 15 minutes, you feel better. Your eyes are still closed but you can tell that Phil is sitting on your right and Bruno is sitting on your left. Phil continues to rub your back with his left hand while his right hand rubs your right thigh. You continue breathing in and out…slowly. Bruno brushes the hair from your face and whispers, “Nikki, you ok?”. You take a deep breath and reply, “Yes”, keeping your eyes closed. You can hear Phil sniff. You peek quickly and see him quickly wipe the corners of his eyes. Your heart physically hurts. You lower your head, holding your face in your hands. Your eyes begin to moisten. Despite the pain he’s feeling, Phil is STILL right next to you rubbing your back. You hear Bruno sigh. “I’m sorry”, he starts. “I’m sorry man. You’re my brother and…I really fucked up. I’m sorry.” Phil stops rubbing your back. You tense up, fearful of how he may respond. “Yes you did. I mean, you my BOY, my ACE and you…”, his voice trails off as you hear him stand up. Bruno stands as well and you open your eyes and sit up. Walking toward Phil, Bruno encourages him to finish, “And what? Talk to me man. I can’t stand this…this…anger between us anymore. Scream at me, cuss me out, something. Just talk to me!”. Phil looks at Bruno like he’s about to respond but then looks at you and stops. You know this conversation needs to happen but it can’t take place while you are around. You have to leave. As though he was reading your mind, Jamareo walks up next to you and says, “Nikki, I can take you home if you want”. Smiling you reply, “Thanks Jam. I’d appreciate that”. You turn and leave without looking back.

Sitting in Jamareo’s car you are silent sulking in your feelings. “Soooo, how have you been?”, Jam asks trying to make conversation. Smirking you suppress the urge to vent. “I’m ok Jam. How are you?”. “Pretty good, pretty good”, he replies with that sweet smile that melts your heart. Silence falls on the car once again. Jam turns the corner and you realize that he is taking you to Bruno’s house. “Jam, stop the car please”, you request. “Uh…sure”, he says pulling over. “Is something wrong?”, he wonders turning toward you. Looking down, you shake your head. “No, nothing’s wrong. It’s just…I…I can’t go back to Bruno’s place.” “Oh! Ok. Well, I have a spare room. You are more than welcome to stay there.” You look up and smile at Jamareo. “That’s very sweet of you, really, but I think I need a place of my own Jam”. He nods. “I can understand that but where are you going to stay until you get a place? I mean seriously, I don’t mind if you crash at my place”. You laugh. “You are truly a gentleman. Thank you but I’m just going to stay at a hotel for a while. I’m sure I’ll find an apartment soon”. “Ok…”, he says as if he doesn’t approve but doesn’t dare say it. “You have any idea where you wanna stay?”. “Nope. Not one clue”, you sigh. “Ok. Well, what about the Residence Inn? They are like mini apartments right?”. You perk up. “Yeah good idea Jam! Thanks!”. 

Jam pulls up to Bruno’s house. You both hop out of the car. “You need any help packing?”, he asks sweetly. “Nah, I don’t have much to pack but thanks for asking. Thank you for helping me out, Jam. I really appreciate it”. “Don’t mention it Nikki. Now if you change your mind, my offer still stands”, he says smiling as he walks you to the door. Giving him a hug you smile and reply, “Thanks Jam. I’ll keep that in mind. See you later”. “See ya Nikki”. You go inside and quickly pack up all your things. You are praying Bruno doesn’t walk through the door. He doesn’t. You throw your luggage in the trunk of your car and head out. Not long after, you are in your hotel room unpacking. Once you’re finished you sit on the couch and try to relax. It’s late and you’ve had one hell of a day. A little after 9pm, your phone is jumping OFF THE HOOK. Bruno and Phil are calling, leaving voicemails and texting you. ‘Where R U’ and ‘Can we talk?’, comes across your screen from Bruno. ‘We need 2 talk’, scrolls across from Phil. You don’t want to talk to either of them right now. You turn your phone off, curl up in bed and close your eyes. Within minutes you are sleep. 

Hours later, you are startled out of your sleep by a loud knock on your door. Jumping up you check the clock. It’s 3:09 am. ‘Who the hell?!’, runs though your mind when you hear the knock again. “Nikki, it’s me. Open the door. Please”, you hear Bruno plead through the door. You unlock the door but don’t unlatch the chain. You open the door as far as the chain allows. Bruno looks exhausted. Looking confused, he attempts to push the door open. “What the…”, he starts to say as he looks at you. “Nikki, open the door”. “Bruno it’s late. What is it?”, you ask. He looks down and sighs deeply. “So you just leave and don’t tell me? I mean I come home and you…you’re just gone. No note, no nothing. I’ve been worried sick!”. “Bruno it’s just…I need my space. I am so confused right now and…” Bruno stops you, “Nikki, I can’t talk to you like this…through the door. Come on, baby, please open the door”. His eyes are moist and red from tears. You close your eyes, unlatch the door and let him in. While he closes the door, you make your way to the far side of the room; out of arms reach. You stand with your arms folded as Bruno makes his way over to you. He reaches out to stroke your arms and you move to the right and circle behind him. “Look if you wanna talk, talk”, you state matter of factly. Bruno smirks a little. “Ok. Fine. Why did you leave?” “Because I need space. I have to figure out what I want”. “But, I thought you said you loved me”. You sigh heavily. “I…I…I…”, you sound like a broken record. Bruno caresses your face. “You don’t have to say it. In fact, it would probably be better if you didn’t”. You step back. “Bruno, it’s late and I’m really tired.” Bruno steps toward you. His right hand reaches to caress your face but you block it. “I think you should go B”, you say looking down. Bruno sighs deeply, “Ok. It has been one hell of a day. Can I see you tomorrow? Lunch maybe?” You are walking toward the door. Opening the door you say, “I’m working a mid-shift tomorrow.” Taking the hint, Bruno walks out the door and stops in the doorway. “Ok. Well, call me when you get in. Ok?” You look down. Bruno grabs your hips and pulls you close. Caressing your face he kisses you with a passion you feel in your panties. Staring into your eyes he repeats, “Ok?”. You are having an out of body experience initiated by that kiss. You hear yourself say, “Ok”, but it doesn’t sound like your voice. Bruno kisses you lightly on the lips, “Good night Nikki”. You blink twice, snapping out of that Mars Sars trance. “Good night B”, you say stepping back and closing the door. You lean your back against the back of the door and slide down to the floor. You wrap your arms around yourself and resist the urge to open that door and pull him back in.

You don’t normally work mid-shifts but if you’re gonna get your own place, the opportunity to work extra shifts is a blessing. Besides, you need to get away from Bruno and Phil for a while. Work is the perfect distraction. It’s 7pm, all your patients have been taken care of and you are ready to get a bite to eat for dinner. As you are walking down to the cafeteria for what you hope is going to be a somewhat decent meal, you see Phil wandering around the hallways of the hospital CLEARLY lost. “Phil?”, you ask half smiling. “Hey! Nikki, glad I found you. This place is a maze. What the hell is ‘tele’ anyway?” You laugh. “Phil what are you doing here? Is everything ok?” “Yeah, everything is fine. I heard you were working today so I thought I’d surprise you with some lunch”. He presents you with a brown bag with Chipotle stamped across it. Your heart skips a little when you smell the aroma eking from the bag. “Philip, that’s very sweet of you! I can’t believe you! I LOVE CHIPOTLE!” He smiles, “I know”. You both walk over to a table and sit down. You pull a burrito bowl out of the bag that could feed two people. Your eyes are wide with excitement and Phil can’t help but laugh. Smiling you say, “Please, have some Phil”. He takes the fork, slides his chair next to you and begins to feed you instead. He is staring at you and you can’t help but blush. He feeds you in silence. There is no verbal communication but your bodies are saying it all as you both frequently exchange smiles. Before you know it, it’s 7:30 and you have to head back upstairs. “Thanks for lunch, Phil. It was DELICIOUS!” You both laugh as he walks you to the elevator. “You’re welcome Nikki”, he replies smiling, allowing those dimples to emerge. As you press the elevator button, he pulls you close. You are face to face. Your lips are millimeters away from his. So close, you are breathing in his breath. Caressing the back of your head, he looks deep into your eyes and asks, “Can I kiss you?”. Your body wants to scream ‘Hell fucking yes’ but your mind adds a filter. “Yes”, you nearly plead in a whisper. His lips lightly graze yours and linger for a few seconds until the elevator door opens. He slowly releases you. You can’t move. “I hope the rest of your shift goes well Baby Girl”, he smiles as he walks away. You feel drunk from that encounter. You stumble into the elevator. As soon as the door closes, you take a deep breath and lick your lips. “Dayum!”

You sit in the drivers seat of your car just as the clock reads 11:40pm. You start the car and your text alarms, it’s Bruno. ‘How wuz ur shift?’ You contemplate ignoring him. ‘Tiring. Cant w8 2 hit da bed’. ‘I wanna c u. I miss u being here.’ You don’t know how to respond to that because you’re not missing him. ‘That’s sweet. Really tired B. ttyl.’ You park your car in the hotel parking lot. As you walk onto to the elevator you get another text from Bruno, ‘Since U wont let me tuck U in at least let me take U to lunch tomorrow’. You smile. He’s determined. You respond, ‘Ok. GN B’. Just as you hit send, you look up and see Phil sitting in front of your door looking fine as hell in his red plaid shirt and snap back. You chuckle a little, surprised but happy to see him. “Philip what are you doing here?” Rising up from the floor he smiles and hands you a beautiful bouquet of Stargazer Lilies. “Waiting for you so I could give you these”. Your heart is melting (which would explain the moisture soaking your panties right now). You plant a kiss on his right cheek. “Thank you. They are beautiful”, you say smiling as you open the door. You walk in but Phil just stands in the doorway. “Are you coming in?”, you ask. “Do you want me to?”, he asks honestly. You lay down your flowers and walk over to him. Grabbing both of his hands, you kiss his lips softly. You feel his body tremble a little and you smile. “Philip, I ALWAYS want you to”, you smirk as you pull him inside. He looks around. “Nice”, he says seeming surprised. “Thanks!” Phil walks toward you and all you can think of is what you wanna do to his body. He embraces you. Holding you tight he asks, “So how’d the rest of your shift go?” It dawns on you that you just came from work and are filthy. Stepping back you respond, “It wasn’t bad but Baby, I’m so dirty. I’ma take a quick shower. I’ll be back in a few but please make your self at home”. You head to the shower and wash all the work and worry from your body. Part of you is hoping that Phil joins you in the shower. You actually linger a little longer than you normally would just in case but no Phil. You hop out, dry off and wrap the towel around you as you head out to your bedroom slightly irritated. As you walk through your bedroom door. You notice Phil sitting on your bed and you begin to feel MUCH better. You walk over to him and sit on his lap. Brushing the hair from your face he kisses your cheek. “How about a massage?”, he murmurs in your left ear. “Mmmmm. That sounds good”, you murmur back. You lay on your stomach. Phil unwraps your towel revealing your caramel skin but keeps your ass covered. Phil lotions up his hands and begins to rub your legs, calves and feet. You rest your head on your arms and lightly moan. His hands on your body feels so good. He moves up to your thighs and massages each firmly but tenderly. Moving up your thigh, his hands are under the towel. As he massages your upper thigh, his thumb lightly grazes your love. “Mmm”, escapes from your lips and he smiles. “Sorry”, he apologizes. You sit up and turn over, pulling the towel up to cover you. You slide down toward him and caress his face. You allow your towel to slide down a little revealing some cleavage. Kissing his face over and over you murmur, “Don’t ever be sorry for touching what belongs to you”. Phil pushes you away. “Does it?”, he asks with skepticism in his voice. You are stunned. “Wh…what do you mean?” “Does it belong to me? I mean wasn't Bruno just over here last night?” Your face is stuck. You are shocked and a little offended. “Well, yes but…”, Phil cuts you off and scoffs. Getting up he begins to walk away. “Philip! Let me finish!”, you respond raising your voice. “Nikki I don’t wanna hear about your sexual escapades with my so-called brother. Besides, he said he would leave you alone and let us work this out on our own.” You raise your eyebrows. You wondered what the outcome of their convo was but didn’t want to be nosey. “Fucking liar”, Phil mumbles under his breath. You can’t further tarnish their relationship even though it seems Bruno is hell bent on it’s destruction. “As I said, Philip, you didn't let me finish”, you continue softening your tone. You force him to sit on the bed and listen. “Yes, Bruno was here last night but there were no sexual escapades”. Phil looks up and searches your eyes for truth. Finding it he asks, “So what the hell was he doing here?”. Thank God for the ability to think on your feet. “He came to apologize for everything. He didn’t mention what transpired between you two but I figured you guys came to some sort of truce. He was very remorseful and said he loved you too much as his brother to keep…well, to continue our relationship”. You turn to walk away for emphasis but Phil stands and grabs your hips. “Wait”, he whispers. Pressing his forehead against yours he closes his eyes and apologizes. “I’m sorry. It’s just…it’s going to take me a while to trust you and him again”. He holds you tighter as he looks into your eyes and says softly, “I love you Baby Girl”. Kissing you softly, he lets your towel fall to the floor and begins to caress your body. Picking you up he lays you on the bed and begins kissing every inch of your skin. As he begins kissing the inside of your thighs, he murmurs, “Do you forgive me?”. “Yessss”, is slowly teased from your mouth as his tongue finds your clit and licks it slowly quickly igniting the fire of your orgasm. Removing his clothes, he lays his warm mocha body atop yours. Running his fingers through your hair he smiles at you. You can still see the hurt behind his eyes that YOU put there. Tears stream down your face as he enters you. He stops immediately. “What’s wrong?! Am I hurting you?!” You flip him over and mount up. “No Baby, I hurt you and I’m sorry. Let me make it up to you.” He smiles and places his hands behind his head. “Giddy up Baby Girl”, he smirks. You grind on that python until he moans. Back and forth, up and down until you feel him jerk inside you. You ease up, you’re not ready for it to be over so soon. You slowly hop off and wrap you lips around that massive python. You try your best to swallow it and he damn near loses his mind. “OH FUCK…NIKKI..DAMN IT!” Smiling you hop back on your ride, reverse cowgirl style and twerk on his hardness until his toes curl. He quickly gets up and starts riding you doggie style. That python is banging your walls so hard your wetness is dripping down your legs as it releases your orgasm. He pulls your hair and kisses you as he explodes inside you with his next thrust. Collapsing on top of your back, he sighs deeply. You turnover and hold your lover. Kissing the top of his head, you ask, “Are you satisfied Baby?”. “Hell fucking yes!”, he smiles kissing you. Holding him tighter you continue, “Do you forgive me?”. He looks up at you and smiles but doesn’t answer.