Can't Let Go

“I think about that night sometimes as I listen to my heart beating. If I’d only had the guts to ask the question that stood between us…” Phil stops abruptly, choking up. He can feel the tears swelling in his eyes. “Uh, let’s take five guys”, he says rubbing his eyes. He heads outside for some fresh air. Leaning against the wall, he pulls out the Tiffany necklace you left behind and rubs it between his fingers. ‘I can’t believe she’s gone. She hasn’t called or texted me back. God I miss her”, he thinks, remembering how you smile when he holds you close. “DAMN IT! I CAN’T DO THIS!!” he yells. “Yo, Phil you aight?”, Eric asks stepping outside. “You seemed upset, man. You ain’t been yourself for like a month. What’s going on?”. Phil clears his throat, looks away and says, “Nah, I’m fine man. Just tired is all.” Eric leans forward and looks directly at Phil. “I know heartbreak when I see it man. It’s Nikki, isn’t it? Why don’t you call her?” Phil forces a laugh, “Ha! Nikki? Nah brauh, I haven’t thought about her in weeks”, he lies. “Then why are you holding her necklace?” Phil looks down at the necklace and pushes it back into his pocket. “Just call her man,” Eric says as he heads back inside. 

“Alright honey, we are all packed for the Bahamas tomorrow!” you say excitedly, doing a little dance. “Babe, can you get the kids passports so I can put them in my carry-on?” “Of course, Kitten”, your husband says kissing you. You have been looking forward to this family vacation all month. God knows you need something to keep your mind off of Phil. “Here you go Kitten.” You put your arms around your husband’s neck and kiss him. You have been much more attentive in the past few weeks in an effort to make up for your 6 months of indiscretion. He holds you tight and kisses you softly as he smacks your ass. “Love you, Kitten”. “I love you too, honey”, you reply as he heads downstairs. As you pack your carry-on, your phone rings. You walk over to answer and freeze. It’s Phil. Your mind is racing, ‘Should I pick it up? No, just let it ring. But I would love to hear his voice just once more. NO!!! Just let it ring.’ Before you can reach a decision, you hear your voicemail alert. You slowly pick up the phone. Usually you just delete his voicemails but this time, you decide to listen. That familiar deep, sexy voice kisses your ear and tears fill your eyes. “Hey Baby Girl. I...ah...I just wanted to hear your voice. I just wish you’d pick up. Nikki, I miss you. Please call me...I love you.” Your heart breaks and tears fall like rain from your eyes. ‘No, no, no. Damn it Philip! Why are you doing this to me?’ you wonder. You lift your finger to delete the voicemail but you just can’t do it. 

Phil is sitting on the couch at the studio holding his phone in his hand. ‘Ring...ring, damn it!’ he thinks to himself hoping that you’ll call. Bruno comes over and plops down next to him. “Yo, what the fuck are you doing?” he laughs. Phil is so lost in his thoughts he didn’t notice Bruno. “Huh? Oh...uh...I was...I was about to…” “Awe, don’t tell me you miss her man.” Bruno laughs. “She’s married! Did you really think she was gonna leave her husband though?” Phil just sits silent. “Whoa, wait! Don’t tell me you fell in love with her. Oh no, brauh. Wow! I’m sorry. I thought...you know...you were just…” Phil stops him mid sentence, “No, YOU were just fucking her...I actually love her.” Phil jumps up and walks around the corner. Bruno looks stunned. He gets up and follows Phil, “Hold up man. Look, I didn’t know you were feeling her like that. I mean...that pussay leche was…” Phil grabs Bruno by his shirt and throws him against the wall. “Don’t you EVER talk about her like that!” he snaps at B as Eric and Kam come running to break up the fray. Bruno pushes Phil off of him. “Look man, I’m sorry! Ok? Damn!” Kam steps between them. “What the fuck? I ain’t never seen y’all at each other! What is going on?!”, he asks confused. “Nothing. We good. Right Phil?”, Bruno says smoothing out his shirt. Phil doesn’t respond and just walks down the hall and out the door. “Bruno you need to give him some space bro. He’s hurting right now”, Eric says. Bruno ignores him and runs after Phil, down the hall. Bruno finds Phil out back sitting on the curb. He sits down next to his big brother. “You know what you need? You need a vacation. In fact, we all need a vacation man. Some sun, liquor, weed and beautiful women in bikini’s”, Bruno says smiling. Phil looks at Bruno, “Man, I don’t think so. Y’all go and have a good time.” “Whatever, Phil we are going to the Bahamas and I’m packing your bag.”

The Bahamas is just as beautiful as you remember from your honeymoon. The kids love it and Atlantis is a family paradise. You are completely relaxed and your mind is clear as you lay on a chaise watching your husband and the kids in the pool.  Suddenly, you hear your twitter alert. “Sup Bahamas!” you read on Bruno’s TL. Your heart stops. ‘Fuck! Did he put a tracking device on my shit?’ you start to wonder. ‘Well, I’m sure Ryan has him laid up somewhere really nice so I shouldn’t have anything to worry about.’ You are deep in thought and don’t notice that your husband is standing right in front of you. “You just can’t stay off of Twitter, even on vacation!” he says shaking his head. “What is it now, more drunk tweets from Bruno?” he asks. You immediately turn off your phone and say, “Something like that” as you give him a half smile. “Anyway...I booked us for an afternoon swim with the dolphins”, he says happily. “Oh honey! Why didn’t you tell me sooner? I have a full spa treatment scheduled in an hour!” “Dang! Well...it’s fine. Just go be pampered. Me and the kids will go swim with the dolphins. It’s cool.” “Are you sure?” “Yes Kitten, I’m sure”, he says kissing your forehead.

Bruno and the boys decide to head out and have some fun after checking into their rooms. They just can’t seem to convince Phil to come along. “I’ll be fine. Just go ahead without me. I’ma head down to the pool”, he says grabbing a towel. He walks out to the pool area and a small crowd gathers around him for autographs and pictures. You hear some commotion and look up. You can’t see who’s causing the mini frenzy and honestly could care less. You decide to head inside to your spa appointment. You walk right by the crowd. Phil looks up just as you walk by. His heart stops. He is trying to call to you but he just can’t. It’s like his voice is frozen. “Nikki!”, he mouths over and over hoping sound will emerge from his lips. He’s trying to break free of the crowd but can’t. The crowd is blocking his view and you disappear into the lobby. His voice finally returning he says, “Excuse me, excuse me, I have to go”. He’s bolts away from the crowd and searches the lobby but doesn’t see you. “Shit!” is all he can say as he plops down on a chair.

You are completely relaxed after that hot stone massage. ‘Oh my God! I need one of these everyday!’, you think entering the elevator and leaning back on the wall. You put your ear buds in and hit shuffle on your iPod as the elevator doors start to close. That sultry intro to Gorilla blasts in your ears. Bruno’s voice sings, “Ooooooh…” and you hit skip. “Hell no”, you laugh out loud as someone sticks their hand in between the elevator doors to prevent them from closing. You look up to see Bruno enter the elevator. ‘You have got to be fucking kidding me’, you think just as B notices you. He walks over, leans on the wall next to you and smiles. He doesn’t say a word but his body is saying it all. His right hand lightly strokes the side of your left thigh. ‘Ugh..FUCK’, you think as you feel wetness pooling in your panties. He smirks, tilts his head and looks directly at you as if he knows you’re soaking wet. He turns to face you running his fingers down your left arm and licking his lips. Your body is trembling. He steps close to you, staring straight into your eyes. The elevator doors open. ‘Thank you Jesus’, is all you can think as you start to leave but he grabs your left hand. Pulling you close he whispers, “Where are you going?”. You look at him but can’t speak, your body is screaming for that huge bulge pressing against his shorts. “I can’t”, you whisper back, barely audible. Bruno just smiles and hits the close door button. He swipes his card for access to the penthouse and gives you a devilish grin. You don’t move. He pushes you against the elevator wall, placing his hands on either side of your head and stares into your eyes. Smiling he kisses you. You know what he wants because you want it too. You kiss him back and a warm sensation travels down your spine and vibrates in your panties. He begins removing your shorts and panties and you start to unzip his shorts. He lifts you up onto that carrot and you moan in ecstasy as he enters you. He’s staring into your eyes as he bounces you up and down on his hardness. You grab hold of the railings for support and ride him like a stallion, pushing your wetness onto his throbbing desire. The elevator doors open and you wrap your legs around him as he walks you into the penthouse and lays you on the couch. He pushes both of your legs up above your head and rams that thick carrot into your wetness, balls deep. You scream out in blissful torture as he smacks your ass and grinds deeper. That carrot is hitting your G-spot and your body is bucking wildly as your juices squirt all over him. He smiles and says, “So...you like that, huh?”. You can’t speak but smile and nod your head. He turns you over and pulls you half off the couch, spreading your legs wide. He penetrates deep into your wetness hitting the walls and making you scream. The sexy moans escaping from his lips coupled with his vibrations lets you know he’s about to come...HARD. “Mmmm  …”, he moans as you feel him tighten up. You quickly turn over, drop to your knees and suck the juice from his carrot. Caught off guard, he stumbles back and groans, “FUCK!! Oh my God, Nikki!! FUCK!!” You smile as his carrot jerks and his sweet juices run down your throat. He looks down at you and smiles. Pulling you up to him, he kisses you gently and holds you, caressing your entire body. “Damn, Nikki. I forgot just how good we are together”, he says smiling at you. You smile back breaking his embrace. “I gotta go”, you say, heading to the bathroom to clean up. “I know you do. Can I see you later?”, he asks with hope in his eyes. “Sorry, I’m here on vacation with my family, Bruno. I shouldn’t even be up here”, you say heading to the elevator. “Fine, but if you change your mind…”, he puts a card key in your back pocket and pats your ass as the elevator doors open. You walk into the elevator, look back at Bruno and smile.  

“What’s wrong with your steak? Too rare?”, Eric asks Phil at dinner. Phil is pushing his food around his plate like a picky 5 year old. “Huh? Oh, nah, it’s fine. I’m just not hungry right now. In fact, I’m done”, he grabs his drink and heads out to the deck. As he stares out at the ocean, he debates whether or not he should call you. ‘Where are you Baby Girl?’ he wonders, talking to the moon. You are laying in bed curled up next to your husband. He’s sleeping soundly as are your kids in the next room. You can’t sleep at all. You reach for your phone and listen to Phil’s message over and over again. Tears soak your pillow. Your sobs are growing louder so you get up, throw on a sundress and head out for a walk along the beach to clear your mind. The sound of the waves hitting the shore is extremely calming and you start to relax. You exhale as you look up at the moon lit sky. Phil takes a drink from his glass as he leans over the deck, gazing at the ocean. As he lowers his glass, he sees a familiar figure walking along the beach. He leans closer and squints. “Nikki”, he whispers putting down his drink and hopping over the deck. He steps out of his shoes and begins to walk toward you on the beach. So many emotions are running through his body, he doesn’t know what he should say. With every step he takes closer to you, his heart beats faster. ‘What should I say?’, he wonders. You are staring up at the moon, contemplating using that key card to pay Bruno a visit when you hear a familiar voice singing behind you. “I will never forget the day that you left. You walked out the door with a stone for a heart. The cold air came in and the rain and the wind, the hurt and the pain, no I ain’t been the same. I ain’t been the same since you left that day”. You turn around, “Philip?” you whisper watching him walk toward you in the moonlight. Your heart literally skips a beat and you can’t breathe. He grabs you, wrapping his arms tightly around your waist. As tears fall from your eyes he continues. “But when you come back, I won’t even ask where you have been or what you been doing. I just want you back, just wanna hear you laugh. Want you to dry my tears and wipe my slate clear.” He looks down at you with tears in his eyes and kisses you softly. Wiping the tears from your eyes he whispers, “Just come back my dear”.

You wipe the tears from his eyes, hold his face in your hands and kiss him like you never have before. He’s holding you so tight you can barely breathe. “Baby girl don’t you EVER leave me like that again”, he pleads kissing you over and over. You smile, “I’m sorry. I just don’t want to keep hurting you”. “We can make it work...somehow. I mean, I can’t be without you anymore”. He caresses your face, staring deep in your eyes and kisses you. His hands leave your face and slide down to your shoulders, pushing the straps of your dress off each shoulder. You start to unbutton his shirt as you kiss his neck and softly lick behind his left ear. He slides his hands down your dress, cupping your breasts. A flood of moisture runs down your legs as you throw your head back and moan. You damn near rip his shirt off his chest as he lays you down on the sand. You can feel that python throbbing against your aching desire. You start to unzip his shorts as his hands gently slide up your thighs removing your panties. He lays directly on top of you, you wrap your legs around him and feel the heat of his python slowly enter you. You both moan and sigh simultaneously as you feel him slowly teasing your love. You hold him tight running your fingernails gently down his back. He smiles at you and whispers, “I love it when you do that”. You laugh and push that wetness onto his python. He wraps his arms around you and grinds slowly. You feel the coolness of the ocean water run under you, helping to cool down that warm pulsation brewing in your wetness. You lightly bite his ear and he moans. The waves start hitting your bodies with more force as Phil grinds deeper and whispers, “I missed you”, in your right ear. With every thrust that pulsation grows bigger and bigger in your love. You are panting in an effort to control your breathing. You arch your back as Phil caresses it. You force your wetness onto that python repeatedly until your body trembles from orgasm. Phil’s hands tighten on your back and you feel his hot affection explode inside you and quickly run down your thighs. He rests his head on your breasts, “Don’t leave me, ok?”, he asks looking up at you. You wrap your arms around him and kiss the top of his head as you fight back tears.

You are sitting on the balcony smiling as the sun kisses your freshly bathed skin. Your thoughts are of your secret rendezvous with Phil last night on the beach. Your text alarm sounds, it’s Phil. ‘Good morning beautiful’, it reads. You smile and reply, ‘Good morning handsome’. ‘I wanna c u 2day. Can u get free?’ he asks. ‘IDK I hav 2 c. I’ll let u kno’, you respond. ‘K. Love u Baby Girl’, he sends. You smile and turn off your phone. Crossing your legs, you lean forward, close your eyes and stroke your arms imagining your hands are Phil’s. Another hand caresses the small of your back and you open your eyes. It’s your husband. He bends down, kisses your forehead and says, “Good morning Kitten. You’re up early”. You smile, kiss him softly on his lips and reply, “Good morning honey. I just couldn’t sleep anymore I guess.” “Remember the last time we were here for our honeymoon? We barely left the room”, he smiles rubbing your thighs. “Yeah, I remember”, you reply smiling back. “So, what do you have planned for today?”, you ask hoping to spend some time with Phil. “I’m going deep sea fishing with my Dad remember? And the kids are spending the day at the aquarium with my Mom. Did you forget?”. In all the excitement of last night, you actually did forget you were free today. “Yeah, I guess I did.”, you admit. “Well, I guess I’ll go into town and do some shopping.” “Ok, that sounds like fun. I’m gonna hit the shower than head out. The boat leaves early.” He kisses the top of your head as he heads back inside, “Love you Kitten”. “Love you too, honey”. Once he is back inside the room you text Phil, ‘I’m headin 2 town 2 do sum shoppin. Wanna come?’. ‘Meet me by the palm tree n front of the Wyndham’, he suggests. ‘K. Giv me an hr 2 get ready’, you respond. ‘K. C u soon’. You feel like a giddy school girl going on her first date. You pop out of your chair and go inside to get dressed.

As you get off the bus, you see Phil waiting patiently under the palm tree in his flowered shirt, fedora and khaki shorts. ‘Mmmmmm’, is the first thing on your mind when you see him. He smiles, seeing you walk toward him. He wraps his arms around you and kisses your forehead, “Hey beautiful,”. “Hey, yourself. Looking all good”, you admit blushing. “So, where we going?”, he asks. “Just walking around the market to see what they have”, you answer. “O...k…I guess that sounds like fun. As long as I get to spend time with you I’m happy”. You and Phil walk along the market hand in hand and couldn’t be happier. Every so often, you pick up something you like. “Oh, this is cute”, you say out loud to yourself. “Yeah it is but it looks like it’s for a kid”, Phil responds. “Ha, ha, ha. It is silly. I meant for my daughter”. “Oh, ha, ha. How old is she? I bet she’s just as beautiful as her Mommy”, he says smiling. “You have a son too, right?”. You frown, “Please let’s not do this. Ok?”. “Do what?”, Phil asks confused. “Don’t bring my children up, ok? I mean why do you care about my kids?”, you snap. “Whoa, Nikki I was just trying to get to know you better. Calm down. I’m just curious that’s all but if you don’t wanna talk about it, fine. We won’t”. “Thank you”, you reply as guilt crawls through your body. You two walk around the market for a while in silence. “I don’t know about you but I’m hungry”, Phil admits. You ignore him as you browse through some straw bags. “Nikki, are you hungry?”, he asks directly. You continue to ignore him. He smirks, “Ok, ok.”, he says at almost a whisper. He steps closer to you and tries to embrace you. “Don’t!”, you say pushing him away. “Baby girl, don’t do this. I’m sorry ok?”. You are silent as you walk to the next stand. “Come on Nikki. Let’s just go get some fried conch and a little red wine. I know a nice, quite place right on the water…” “And then what?”, you say cutting him off. “Are we gonna sneak back to your room and make love until I have to go back to my family?”, tears are swelling in your eyes. “What are we doing, Phil? We CAN’T make this work”, you say turning to leave the market. “Nikki wait!”, Phil pleads grabbing for your right hand. You jerk it away and start to run away from him with tears cascading down your face. You have no idea where you are going but you need to leave. “Nikki!”, Phil yells running after you. You have no where else to run so you just stop, place your hands over your face and sob uncontrollably. Phil runs up to you and just holds you tight in his arms. He doesn’t say a word, he just kisses the top of your head as you cry in his arms. After a few minutes, you look up at Phil, the man who has stolen your heart and kiss his lips. He kisses you back letting his tongue kiss yours. You can feel that python rising, poised to strike. His hands slowly move down to your ass and grab it as his kiss gets more intense. You caress the back of his head and start to feel the eyes of strangers watching this public display affection. “We can’t do this here”, you whisper. He smiles, grabs your hand and pulls you toward and old empty building. It’s small and looks like an old abandoned hut with a beautiful view of the ocean. As you walk into the center of the hut, Phil smiles at you. He pulls you close and begins kissing your neck. Your legs tremble and he laughs, “Ha, ha, ha. You ok?”. You smile looking up at him as you drop to your knees. You unzip his khakis and free that python. Your mouth is watering with the thought of tasting it. You start to lick that thick piece of chocolate, caressing the base with your hand. Phil moans, “Ugh...damn”. You smile and begin to suck and tease that python hoping to cause and eruption. He pulls you up and pushes you against a column in the center of the room. He pulls your shorts down, tosses them aside and turns you toward the column, with your back facing him. He steps close to you, laying his body on yours. You inhale sharply as he enters your throbbing wetness. He’s holding you close as he thrusts hard and fast. His breath on your ears is causing that rising pulsation to harden your clit. You slide your hand down to rub it. Your fingers release that orgasm that has been lingering. “Ohhhh”, is all you can whisper as your juices start to run down your legs. Phil starts hitting your walls hard and fast causing you to scream, “Yes, yes, yes!”. You are on the verge of another orgasm and he knows it. “You gonna come for me Baby Girl?”, he whispers in your right ear. “Si Papi”, you respond smiling back at him. “Oh damn! That’s sexy as hell!”, he says breathing hard between thrusts. You laugh as you feel him tremble inside of you. He holds you so tight you can feel his heart skip a beat as his seed fertilizes your garden. He spins you around and just holds you. You wrap your arms around him, place your head on his chest and just listen to his heartbeat.  

The view from your table is gorgeous and the service is amazing. Phil is sitting so close to you, you can feel the heat emanating from his body. “How is your conch Baby Girl?”, he asks smiling. It would probably be delicious if it weren’t seasoned with the guilt of infidelity that is weighing like bricks on your soul. “It’s ok”, you manage to say looking down. Phil senses something is wrong. He lifts your chin, kisses your forehead and says, “Talk to me Baby Girl. What’s wrong?”. You are silent. “Nikki, look, I understand, really I do but we can’t help how we feel. I’m not ashamed that I love you. I don’t care who knows it.” You smile. “I know you do Phil but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m married with a family. What do you expect me to do?” He doesn’t answer for a minute but then pulls something out of his pocket. It’s your necklace. “For starters, you can wear this again”, he says placing that flawless Tiffany diamond heart around your neck. “Then, you can tell me how you feel about me”. You smile and look down. “Nikki, you know exactly how much I love you because I’ve been telling you for months but never once have you said how you feel about me.” You sigh, knowing he’s right. You look at him as he sits back in his chair looking defeated. A look of utter frustration covers his face as he stops the waiter and says, “Excuse me, can I get the check please? Thank you.” He starts to gather his stuff, you can tell he’s upset. He pays the bill and stands to leave. You don’t move. He walks off leaving you at the table. You get up and find Phil out on the deck with his head in his heads. You walk over to him and stroke his head gently. “Philip”, you say calmly. “What?”, he asks looking up at you with tears in his eyes. Your heart sinks. You don’t want to hurt him but you have to tell him how you feel. You remove his hands from his face, kiss his eyes and smile at him. Holding his face in your hands and looking directly in his beautiful brown eyes you say softly, “Philip, I love you”.

The Break Up

“Miss, would you like a drink?”, you hear as your thoughts are interrupted by the friendly stewardess. “Uh, I’ll have a coffee please”, you utter softly. Your voice is nearly gone and your eyes are swollen behind your sunglasses. The argument you had with Phil last night is weighing HEAVY on your mind. ‘I can’t believe he would ask me something like that! I mean he knew I was married from the beginning. Did he really think I would just leave my family behind for him?!’ You think to yourself. Tears swell in your eyes again as you remember all the mean, hurtful things you said to him hoping he would let you go. You let the tears fall onto the diamond heart necklace he wouldn’t let you leave behind. ‘Ending it was the right thing to do’, your mind says while your heart is bleeding from being broken. You’re so wrapped up in your thoughts, you don’t realize the plane has landed and it’s time to leave. You gather your things and begin walking up the tunnel to the gate. You look up as you hear, “There’s my Kitten” escape from your husbands lips. You are so glad to see him. You hug him tighter than you have in months and cry on his shoulder. “Awe Kitten, what’s wrong? Are you ok?” he asks wiping the tears from your eyes. “I just missed you”, you manage to say through tears and a broken heart. “He holds you tighter, “I missed you too”. You manage to get yourself together and gather your things. “Whoa!! Nice necklace!” your husband says, noticing that new piece of Tiffany perfection hanging from your neck. “Oh..Do you like it?” Startled you try to think of a lie QUICK, but are saved when he says, “Yeah! It’s beautiful! I see where the bonus money went. Ha ha ha!”

It’s been 3 months since you heard from Phil. You’re not eating or sleeping. Your mind is trying to convince you that your heart isn’t broken but it’s not doing a good job. Your husband has been more romantic then ever but all you can think about is Phil. “What is wrong with me?” you ask thinking you are alone. “Do you really want me to answer that?” your husband jokes entering the room. You give him a half smile. “Kitten, I noticed you have been a little down lately. I know it’s been a while since you had some time with your girls so…” he hands you an envelope. “What is this?” you ask. “Open it and find out!” he says, his voice oozing with anticipation. You open the envelope to find 2 tickets to Rams Head Live tomorrow night. Your heart drops when you read that Philip Lawrence will be performing songs from his album Letters I Never Sent. You are silent, afraid to speak. “Well...do you like it? Are you excited?” “Uh yeah. I’m excited”, you reply trying to fight back the tears in your eyes. “That’s the dude that plays with your boy Bruno right? I thought you could get some of your girlfriends together and have a girls weekend downtown or something. Maybe get his autograph!” You smile and say, “Thanks honey, this is wonderful but you really shouldn’t have done this”, still fighting back tears. “You need to have some fun Kitten. So call Michele or Shaquana, pack a bag and go! I even got y'all a room at the Marriott on the Waterfront. I hear the view of the Harbor is amazing!” That did it, the memories of you and Phil (...and Bruno) at the Marriott overcome you and you begin to sob uncontrollably clutching your necklace. “Kitten what’s wrong? You don’t like him or something?” “No, no, no, I love him” you admit finally “It’s just...I’m really excited I guess”. You wipe your face and get yourself together. “This means a lot to me honey, you just don’t know. Thank you” you kiss him softly on the lips as you head to the closet for your suitcase.

After checking into your room at the Marriott, you head out to do some shopping in Harbor East. Neither of your girlfriends could make it and you’re kinda glad, you’d rather be alone right now. You decide to hit Starbucks first for a vanilla bean frappacino. You open the door and walk right into Phil. “Oh excuse me, Miss” he says automatically, not seeing you. Your feet won’t move from their spot. He looks up, sees you and says, “Hey”. You both stand there for a moment, staring at each other, too afraid to speak. It feels like an eternity has passed but he smiles at you and walks away, without looking back. You think, ‘Glad that went well’ but your heart was hoping for more. You feel like crying but shake it off and go in to get your treat. You come out feeling better and ready to snatch up that new MK bag when you notice Phil sitting at a table, on the corner staring at you. You decide to walk by and ignore him. You begin to implement this plan but Phil grabs your left hand as you walk by. “Nikki” he says softly. That one word from his lips shoots heat through your body and you feel weak. You stop but don’t look in his direction. “I was hoping I’d see you” he rubs your hand in his. Your heart beats faster. He stands and faces you but you still refuse to meet his gaze. “Are you coming to the show tonight? Please say you’re coming.” You don’t respond so he moves closer to you. You feel the heat from his python pressed against your left hip. “I left a ticket and an all access pass for you at the door.” You start to walk away but he won’t let your hand go. He grabs your hips and pulls you close. You still refuse to meet his gaze so he lifts your chin until you are staring directly into his eyes. “Please don’t do this” you whisper as wetness is throbbing in your panties. “I want you with me tonight. Say you’ll be there. Please”, you can hear the sincerity in his voice. People begin to stare and you remember that you ARE in your hometown where everyone knows everyone else. You push him away. “My husband brought me tickets so I’ll be there. I don’t need the all access pass but I appreciate the thought.” You can tell by the look in his eyes that he’s hurt. Your heart can’t take anymore so you start to walk off, tears brimming in your eyes. 

It’s 8pm and you are heading out to Power Plant Live to pre-game the concert. You walk around taking shots and having beers with random party-goers trying to get your mind off of Phil. By your 4th shot, you’re feeling pretty good. Your plan seems to be working until a rather large dude approaches you and asks your name. You smile thinking he’s hitting on you and say, “Nicole but my friends call me Nikki. What’s your name sweetie?”. He smiles realizing you are drunk. He leans in to whisper in your ear, “Phil wanted me to give you this. He’s waiting for you.” He hands you an all access pass and says, “Put it on and follow me”. Your head is spinning from too may vodka shots so against your better judgement you do as he says. Before you know it, you’re standing in front of a door with a sign reading ‘Philip Lawrence’ on it. You think to yourself, ‘What the hell am I doing here?’ but before you can turn away, your large escort knocks on the door and stands, arms folded by the door like a watch dog. Phil opens the door. He grabs you, kissing you passionately while pulling you into the dressing room and slamming the door. You kiss him back just as passionately then stop and push him away. “No, no, no! We are not doing this. Philip it’s over between us remember?” you plead. As if he didn’t even hear you, he places his hands on your face and lowers his face to meet yours. He kisses you ever so softly with those perfect lips. His tongue finds yours and your legs turn to jelly. ‘Oh my God, I missed this’ runs like a broken record through your mind. He slowly removes your shirt and starts to kiss your neck then drops to his knees and kisses your waist and stomach. He unhooks your bra and starts to suck your left breast like he’s a starving 6 month old. You throw your head back and moan caressing his head. Moving to your right breast, he licks your nipple until its hard enough to cut glass. He playfully bites and sucks your breasts while removing your skirt. He looks up at you, as you stand nearly naked before him. You smile and he kisses your panties and thighs over and over until the wetness from your love runs down your legs. He carries you over to the couch and removes his clothes. He climbs on top of you like a lion stalking it’s prey. His body is so warm you wrap your arms tightly around him. His python finds its home easily as you cry out upon its entrance. Phil's arms wrap around you as he kisses you over and over again. His moans are drowned out by your screams. His intense thrusts are causing that familiar pulsation to burn like fire in your love. Your body quivers as you come in his arms. You let out a low moan of satisfaction just as a low growl escapes from his lips. His arms tighten around you as he looks deep into your eyes. You both gaze at each other as you wrap your legs around him. He thrusts deeper and deeper until you feel his warm wetness on the walls of your love. He kisses you and lays his head on your chest, still holding you tight. “I love you” he says with his head resting on your breasts. You’re not sure how to respond. You don’t want to lead him on into an unrealistic relationship but you don’t wanna hurt him either. Noticing you haven’t responded, he lifts his head up and looks at you. “You’re not going to say it are you?” he laughs. Before you have a chance to respond, there is a knock on the door “15 minutes until show time Mr. Lawrence”. He groans, kisses you again then sits up. “Looks like I need another shower thanks to you” he smiles, “Wanna join me? Ha, ha, ha”. You sit up and start to look for your clothes, “That’s quite alright Phil. I need to find my seat before the show starts.” “You’re right up front. It shouldn’t be hard to find. It’s the reserved table, right in front of the stage. Just tell the hostess who you are.” “Philip, thanks but I have my own ticket…” “You’re sitting at the front table. I need my motivation close to me”, he interrupts pulling you close and kissing the top of your head. You blush and lower your head. “Fine” is all you can say.

The show is amazing and the crowd loves it! You feel so proud of Phil, ‘He is really giving it all he’s got up there and looking sexy as hell doing it!’ He smiles at you throughout the show which makes your temperature rise and panties wet. You can’t wait to get him alone. A few thirsty bitches are making fools of themselves, “Oh, I’m going home with him tonight!” one says. You cut her a look so fierce she backs up. Women are screaming, “I love you Phil” and you are trying to control the green eyed monster stirring inside you. The show is over and you patiently wait as a few fans stay behind for autographs. Most of them are very nice but a few are a little too friendly so you inch closer. “Wow your feet are huge! Is EVERYTHING on you just as big?” one chick says cuddling close to Phil and smiling in his face. He smiles and pushes her away laughing. “I appreciate you coming out to the show ladies” he says. “Can I take a picture with you?” says one. “Can you sign my panties?” says the thirsty bitch that he just pushed away. She pulls up her skirt and starts to bend over. You run over and push her ass onto the floor. “Look bitch he’s not signing your dirty ass panties so step the fuck off!” you spit at her angrily. She gets up and pushes you back. You step out of your heels and lunge at her but Phil grabs your upper arms. Laughing he says, “Chill Nikki! It’s fine. Let’s go”. “No! I ain’t going no where! That bitch put her hands on me, I’m gonna fuck her up!” you spit like fire trying to break free from Phil’s hold. Phil is laughing hysterically as you are trying to get free. Security escorts the girls out of the club before Phil lets you go. Once the girls are safely out of sight he releases you. You turn around and push him, “What is your problem? Why’d you hold me back?”. Laughing he responds, “Nikki, do you really think I give a damn about them? I know how to handle women like that. It’s fine.” He pulls you close as you try to push him away, still pissed. “The only woman I care about is the one I’m holding in my arms.” You stop resisting and look up at him. He kisses you softly. Your temper subsides, “I guess...I’m sorry for the way I acted. It’s just…” you stop. “Just what?” he asks smiling. “Nothing. Just nothing” you say as you look for your shoes. Shaking his head he says, “Come on baby girl I’m hosting an after party at Pisces”. “Pisces? At The Hyatt?” you ask. “Yes. I’m staying there. Or should I say, WE are staying there tonight” he smiles devilishly. “I’m staying at the Marriott Phil sorry.” “THE HELL YOU ARE. You’re staying with me tonight. Now lets go have some fun!” he says pulling you out the door.

The elevator doors open and you can tell Pisces is PACKED!! Phil holds you close as you two make your way to the DJ booth. You sit on a speaker while Phil rocks the mic for a while. After he’s finished playing DJ, you are both whisked off to a quiet VIP area. You are surprised to see Bruno sitting on the couch incognito. “Yo Phil! Proud of you brauh! You did your thing tonight!” Bruno says pouring shots of Patron. He passes you a shot glass with a wink and a smile. “And how are you Nikki? Long time no see”. You ignore him. It isn’t long before Phil is taken away by promoters to mingle. You and Bruno are left alone on the couch. You cross your legs and turn away from him, hoping he gets the hint. He moves next to you, placing his left hand on your left thigh while the back of his right hand softly caresses your face. You shoot him a stern glance, “STOP!”. He smiles and whispers, “No” in your left ear. You decide to get up and dance in order to put distance between you and him. You breath a sigh of relief thinking it worked until you feel him VERY close behind you, rubbing your upper arms and whispering, “Damn you’re skin is soft” in your right ear. The heat from that carrot is pressing on your ass. His lips on your ear are causing all kinds of moisture in your panties. He nibbles on your right ear slightly as he wraps his arms around you. You are putty in his hands. He begins pushing you into a very dark corner. You don’t try to resist because you can’t. You want him just as bad as he wants you. He presses you against the wall with your back to him. He holds your hands hostage above your head, pinned to the wall. He wastes no time pulling up your skirt and pushing your thongs aside. He unzips his pants and pushes that carrot deep into your desire. He is thrusting hard and fast as he whispers, “I...missed...my...pussy”. All you can do is moan and gasp from the pleasure. His grip tightens on your hands and he leans in closer kissing your neck and back. You feel your desire tighten just as he explodes inside of you. “Fuck!” he moans in your ear. He lets your hands go and you turn to face him. “You are gonna be the death of me!” he laughs as he grabs your waist, pulls you close and kisses you. You look up to find Phil watching the two of you. Guilt runs like ice through your veins as you push B away.  “Hey baby”, you say as you walk up to Phil and kiss his left cheek. He turns away from you, “Don’t”, he whispers. Guilt is stuck in your throat and you can’t speak. Bruno walks up and asks, “So you enjoying yourself tonight man?”. “Clearly not as much as you” Phil snaps with a hard scowl. Bruno looks surprised at Phil’s reaction and smirks, “Yeah, well, it’s getting late and I gotta early flight so I’m gonna head to my room. Good night.”. You dare not respond and don’t even look in his direction. Phil turns and heads back to VIP. You follow behind him. “I’m sorry” you whisper to him as you sit on his lap. “I’m done with this party let’s go”, he says leading you toward the elevator. There is complete silence between the two of you in the elevator and while walking to Phil’s suite. You don’t know what to say to make it right. As you enter his hotel room, Phil grabs you and pulls you close. He kisses your bottom lip softly and your legs collapse. He lifts you up so that you and he are eye to eye. Holding you tight and staring directly into your eyes he says, “Whatever is going on with you and Bruno is over. You’re mine and I love you.” You push him away. “I’m yours?” you ask. “Funny because the ring on this finger says I belong to my husband”. “I don’t give a FUCK about your husband. I love you and I want you with me” he says, his voice growing louder. You turn to leave but he grabs your hand. “Please, don’t go. I need you Nikki. When you’re not with me it’s like...I can’t breathe.” He drops to his knees in front of you and pleads, “Please just stay with me tonight”. Before you can respond, he pulls up your skirt and begins to kiss your thighs. Your mind is racing. You don’t know what to do. Phil pushes your thong aside and his tongue starts to tease your clit as his hands grip your hips. “Mmmmm” is all you can say as you caress his head. He looks up at you and pulls you down to the floor. He stares at you for a moment, like a predator staring at it’s prey. Smiling devilishly, he begins to tear off your thongs, rip open your shirt and pull your skirt off. You are a little scared but more turned on by his actions. So turned on you can’t help but rub your moistness as he removes his clothes. “That’s right baby girl. Get it nice and wet for me” he smiles as you moan while your fingers rub your clit. You notice him smiling as he watches you. He seems turned on. “Mmmmm. Now, put your fingers inside that wetness and see if you’re ready for me” he says stroking that python, that appears to be larger than normal. You do as you are told like the dirty little lover that you are. Your two fingers enter your moistness and you can’t help but moan loudly. You move your fingers in and out slowly teasing that pulsation starting to emerge. Phil kisses you then begins licking and sucking your nipples. Your body is on FIRE with ecstasy as your back arches preparing for a major orgasm. Phil places his arms around you and his mouth on your breast as your fingers release that pulsation and you scream...“Bruno!”. You freeze, instantly realizing your mistake. Phil looks stunned and doesn’t say a word. “Get up” he commands smiling. You are scared shitless so you obey. He picks you up over his shoulder and carries you into the bedroom. He throws you onto the bed. Your eyes are wide as you stare up at him wondering what he’s going to do to you. “Bruno huh?” he laughs. “I got your Bruno. This is MY pussy and you aren’t ever gonna forget that after tonight” he says smiling at you devilishly. “Yes sir” you say smiling back obediently. He pulls you to the edge of the bed and pushes that python deep into ‘his pussy’ as you scream out in painful rapture. He pins your legs up above your head and begins to thrust in and out balls deep until your juices as gushing from your desire. He pulls you up, plants a quick kiss on your lips and says, “Face down…”. You do as you are told and put your pretty round brown up in the air. He surprises you as he bypasses the front door and enters the back. “No need to fight it when you know it feels right” he says as he smacks your ass playfully. “Oooohhh” is all you can say as you feel him DEEP inside your walls. He’s bringing the pain, pleasure and tears to your eyes with each thrust. It feels so good you scream, “Don’t stop...please don’t stop.”. He grabs a fist full of your hair as he leans in close and whispers, “I’m not stopping until you scream MY name.”. You love a challenge almost as much as you love it rough. So you plan to make him work for it, “Give me what you got Daddy” you say smiling back at him. And he does. He grinds that python so deep into your walls you can’t even speak. He smacks your ass occasionally as he rides, enjoying every minute. You start to feel weak and are not sure how much more you can take just as he grabs your arms and pulls them back, thrusting deeper and deeper. He leans in, nibbling on your right ear, he whispers, “What’s my name baby girl?”. You smile and reply, “I can’t remember.” He laughs as he places his leg up on the bed and leans in for deeper penetration. His thrusts turn to blows on the walls of your love and you are about to give in. You can feel him pulsate inside you and know that he can’t hold out much longer. His hand reaches under you and massages your clit bringing you to a MASSIVE climax, “PHIL” you scream in submission. Phil wraps his arms around you and groans as he releases his love inside your walls. Both of your sweaty bodies collapse on the bed smiling and laughing. “Come here baby” he says, wrapping his arms around you and kissing you. You lay there in heavenly bliss entangled in Phil’s arms. You kiss him as he smiles, closing his eyes. ‘I really should tell him how I feel’, you think to yourself. You take a deep breath and whisper, “Philip, I love you”. All you hear is soft snoring as you realize he didn’t hear you because he’s fast asleep. 

You wake up, it’s dawn and Phil is still asleep next to you. You know you have to leave. You know you can’t stay, go with him to the next city or visit him in California. Watching him sleep you realize just how much you do love him. ‘I can’t keep hurting him by just stringing him along like this. He deserves someone that can love him freely’, you think to yourself. You know what you have to do. You carefully roll out of bed and search for a pen and paper. After you’re finished, you gather your things. With tears streaming from your eyes, you kiss Phil’s lips softly for the last time. As you stroke his face smiling through tears, you whisper, “I love you” then turn and leave.

Phil rolls over and reaches for you but all he finds is an envelope with his name on it. He sits up and calls for you, “Nikki?” but there is no response. He jumps out of the bed and calls for you as he looks around the suite. Realizing you’re gone, he sits on the couch and opens the envelope. Inside he finds the Tiffany necklace he gave you and a letter that reads, “Philip, I can’t keep hurting you. What I’m doing to you is unfair. I can’t live like this anymore. You mean too much to me. So this is goodbye. I love you, Nikki”. He leans back on the couch with a heavy sigh. He holds his head in his hands as tears swell in his eyes.